What's Your Callsign, Please?

24th Apr 2022

Next, please. Hello! Welcome to Newtopia, the city of pleasant home. What's your callsign, please?

My what?

Hm, that's not recognised. What's your callsign, please?

No, I mean - what's a callsign?

I need one ISD-recognised callsign for your craft in D-encoded format. What's your callsign, please?

My ship is called the Lily Bloom.

I'm sorry, a name isn't acceptable as a unique identifier. What's your callsign, please?

We don't - we don't have one.

I'm sorry, without a callsign I can't clear you to land. Have a nice day!

What? No! Wait - We need - We're not registered with the ISD. They said the visas would be enough to enter the city.

That's correct. Newtopia's visa system was voted the clearest and fairest in the Quadrant by a recent poll of Expat Magazine readers! All you need is to fill in our simple form.

Then let us in. I've got them right here.

I'm sorry, visas only qualify the named individual to enter Newtopia city limits. To bring your craft into Newtopia airspace, you need permission from the Newtopia Aerospace Authority.

I didn't know.

That's ok! It's my job to help. Let's get you registered with the Newtopia Aerospace Authority. What's your callsign, please?

We can't register with the ISD. It costs -

Registering with the ISD is quick and easy! I just need some basic information.

No, I -

First, please approve this signed request for the process fee.

That's more than I made in a year back on Dis.

I'm sorry, I can't clear you to land without an ISD registration.

Please. We've come so far.

I'm sorry, I can't clear you to land without an ISD registration.

We just need to land. Screw the ship. When I'm done you can boil it for all I care. Just let me drop my family off.

I'm sorry, I can't clear you to land without an ISD registration.

There must be someone who reads these shitty transcripts. Please. I have two kids. They've spent most of their lives on deck. They don't know what fresh water tastes like. Just let us through.

I'm sorry, I can't clear you to land without an ISD registration.

You can't imagine what it was like on Dis. There was nothing. It was like being dead without being allowed to die.

I'm sorry, I can't clear you to land without an ISD registration.

I can't do this any more. We can't go back. Don't make me do this.

I'm sorry, I can't clear you to land without an ISD registration.

I won't go back. I'll never go back.

It looks like you're leaving the queue. Please note you'll have to rejoin from the back if you wish to restart your application.

Kids! - Kids, go get your suits on. No, leave it.

Alert! You have entered Newtopia airspace unauthorized. What's your callsign, please?

Yes, that's right. We're going to Newtopia now. Quickly. Suits, now.

If you do not comply the city perimeter will take defensive action. What's your callsign, please?

You all set? Now, get in your couches. Big hug. Yeah, Hari, not long now. Love you lots. Come on.

This is your final warning. Abort or deflect course immediately.

Not long now. We're so cl-

You have now left the queue. Have a nice day! Next, please.

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